How To Be More Assertive

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How to be assertive

Do you ever find it challenging to speak up and make your voice heard? Well, you’re not alone. Many people struggle with assertiveness and may find themselves being passive or aggressive instead. Being assertive means speaking up confidently and respectfully, expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs in a way that others can understand. It is all about being able to speak up for yourself in a confident way while still respecting others. It’s not about being pushy or aggressive, but finding that perfect balance.

Nervous black male slapping himself with palm on mouth looking shocked

Assertiveness is a game-changer when it comes to communication! Being assertive can help you communicate effectively, build healthy relationships, and achieve your goals. While it is true that some people have a natural knack for expressing their thoughts and feelings with ease, others may find it a bit more challenging. For those folks, mastering the art of effectively communicating their emotions might require some extra effort and dedication. Assertiveness is a skill that can be learned, and with these awesome tips and strategies, you’ll soon become a pro at being assertive in both your personal and professional life.

Know your rights

If you want to boost your assertiveness, knowing your rights as an individual is a crucial first step. As a person, you have certain entitlements that are important to acknowledge. For instance, you have every right to express yourself freely, whether it is sharing your thoughts, feelings, or needs. Just remember to be respectful while doing so.

Beautiful black business woman wearing jacket and glasses looking stressed and nervous with hands on mouth biting nails.

In addition, you have the right to set boundaries and communicate them clearly. Saying no when necessary is also within your rights. Remember, it is okay to prioritize your own well-being and stand up for yourself. Understanding your rights and exercising them will help you navigate the path toward assertiveness with confidence.

Practice active listening

Effective communication is a two-way street. One way to become more assertive is to practice active listening. This means listening to the other person’s perspective, showing genuine interest by asking questions, and making an effort to understand where they’re coming from.

Group of young people discussing in a meeting

When you feel like the other person truly hears and understands you, it empowers you to confidently express your own thoughts and feelings. It is like a positive cycle that enhances the way we connect with others.

Use “I” statements and assertive phrases

When expressing your thoughts and feelings, it is important to use “I” statements instead of “you” statements. For example, instead of saying “You always interrupt me,” say “I feel interrupted when you speak over me.” “I” statements are all about owning your feelings and perspective without putting the blame on the other person. It is a way to communicate your emotions without coming across as confrontational.

Assertive communication

Also, using assertive phrases like “I disagree,” “I need,” “I feel,” and “I want” can help you express yourself more effectively and avoid passive or aggressive language. So, the next time you want to express yourself, remember to start with “I” and make use of assertive phrases. It is a simple shift that can have a profound impact on your assertiveness and how others receive your message. So, go ahead and give it a try!

Practice assertive body language

Your body can say a whole lot without you even uttering a single word. If you want to boost your assertiveness, pay attention to how you carry yourself. Practice assertive body language by standing or sitting up straight, making eye contact, using confident gestures, and having a firm handshake. This can help you feel more confident and convey your message more effectively.

Set clear boundaries

Setting clear boundaries is an important part of assertiveness. You need to identify what behaviors you’re willing to tolerate and communicate those boundaries to others.

Boundaries - Assertiveness

Setting clear boundaries is like drawing a line in the sand; it shows others what you’re comfortable with and what’s off-limits. When someone crosses a boundary, just remember to be assertive and respectful while addressing the issue. Let them know how their actions are affecting you, and don’t be shy about expressing what you expect moving forward. Remember, setting clear boundaries is about taking care of yourself and creating healthy relationships. Stand your ground, communicate your boundaries, and don’t be afraid to speak up when someone oversteps.

Practice saying no

Saying no is a vital skill when it comes to asserting yourself and setting much-needed boundaries. When someone asks you to do something that doesn’t align with your values or priorities, it is perfectly okay to say no. And guess what? You can do it in a firm but respectful manner.

It's okay to say NO - Assertive

No doubt, saying no can be tough sometimes. You may worry about letting people down or being seen as a bad person or colleague. However, setting healthy boundaries and knowing your limits are crucial for your well-being. And that means saying no when it is necessary. So, don’t be afraid to practice saying no with confidence. Remember that saying no doesn’t make you a bad person or a bad colleague, so there’s no need to feel guilty about it!

Practice self-care

Being assertive requires confidence and self-esteem. Practicing self-care is like giving yourself a little boost of empowerment. Taking care of your well-being plays a significant role in feeling more assertive and ready to tackle life’s challenges. Find out what works for you and engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment—it could be pursuing a hobby, spending time in nature, or connecting with loved ones. Also, prioritize self-care practices like exercise, healthy eating, and getting enough quality sleep. These actions contribute to your overall well-being and help you feel more confident in your own skin.

Be Assertive- speak up

Remember, assertiveness starts from within. By taking care of yourself, you’re building a solid foundation for asserting your needs and desires with greater confidence.  Becoming more assertive takes practice and patience, but it is a valuable skill that can improve your personal and professional life.

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