Dating and Relationships: 10 Things You Should Never Do During the ‘Talking Stage’

If you’re a regular in the dating scene, then you must be familiar with the term “the talking stage”. Even if you aren’t dating—perhaps you’ve retired from dating and deleted all dating apps—you’ve probably come across this term at some time.

What is “The Talking Stage”?

The “talking stage” refers to the early phase of a romantic relationship where both parties have expressed mutual interest and are interested in developing a deeper connection. As the name implies, it is the stage in the dating process that involves lots of talking. In this stage, you and your potential partner are getting to know each other and learning to build a foundation of trust, mutual respect, and understanding.

The talking stage is not limited to just talking alone or texting. It may also involve activities such as dining out, having drinks, or just spending time together. No doubt, this stage can be a fun and exciting phase of a new romantic relationship.

However, it’s important to note that the talking stage doesn’t necessarily imply that you’re in a dating relationship. In other words, you could just be “talking” or “thinking” about it, without any specific labels or expectations regarding the nature or direction of the relationship. This is why it is important to clearly define this stage of the relationship and avoid certain things during this time, that can cause damage to the relationship before it even has a chance to develop.

10 Things You Should Never Do During the Talking Stage

To avoid getting stuck in a limbo or ending up disappointed, here are ten things you should never do during the talking stage:

1. Pressure your potential partner for a commitment

Pressuring your potential partner for a commitment can create feelings of discomfort and push them away. Do not rush into things. Take things slowly and let the relationship develop naturally. You can always have a conversation about commitment when the time is right.

2. Sexual activities

Do not allow yourself to be forced or coerced into performing any sexual act you’re not interested in. It is okay to take things slow and wait until you feel comfortable before you kiss or have sex with someone. In fact, it is often a good idea to wait until the relationship has been defined before you take things to a more physical level.

Also, do not use sex as a way to try to speed up the commitment process or force the relationship to move forward faster than it naturally would. This can lead to confusion and hurt feelings down the line.

3. Project your own expectations onto your potential partner

When we meet someone new, we often have certain hopes and desires for what the relationship could be like. However, when we start projecting these expectations onto our partners, we risk creating an idealized version of them that may not be accurate or fair.

Projecting your expectations onto your potential partner can create misunderstandings and prevent a genuine connection from forming. It can lead to disappointment and frustration when the other person doesn’t meet your expectations or behave in the way you want them to.

Instead of projecting your expectations onto your partner, communicate openly and honestly about what you want and need from the relationship. This can help ensure that both parties are on the same page and can work together to build a strong and healthy relationship.

4. Assume exclusivity

Assuming that you and your potential partner are on the same page can be a recipe for disaster. Furthermore, assuming exclusivity during the talking stage can create confusion and misunderstandings. It’s important to have a conversation about exclusivity and define the relationship before assuming anything. If you want exclusivity but the other person is not ready to commit, it is advisable to end the ‘talking stage’.

5. Be overly possessive

When you’re in the talking phase of a relationship, it’s important to remember that you’re still getting to know each other and building a foundation for a potential relationship. It is not the time to start checking the other person’s phone, being too clingy, or insisting they spend all their time with you.

Being overly possessive during the talking stage can create feelings of discomfort and push your potential partner away. It is important to give them space and respect their boundaries. This doesn’t mean you can’t show interest or affection, but it is important to strike a balance between showing your interest and respect for their boundaries.

6. Do house chores

Remember that the talking phase is a time to get to know each other and enjoy each other’s company. It is not a time to prove how industrious or domesticated you are by moving in with them and taking on household chores like pounding yam, cooking soup, preparing moi-moi, washing curtains, cleaning, and other chores.

While this may seem like a good way to show your potential partner that you are responsible and capable of taking care of things, it can also send the wrong message. Moving in and doing house chores during the talking stage can create a sense of obligation and expectation that may not be appropriate for the early stages of a relationship.

7. Not communicating enough

Communication is key in any relationship. When you’re in the talking phase, it is important to communicate your thoughts, feelings, and expectations clearly and honestly. Don’t be afraid to ask questions or express your concerns. If there’s something you’re unsure about or if you’re feeling uncertain about the relationship, it is important to voice those concerns.

At the same time, it is equally important to be a good listener. Take the time to truly listen to your potential partner and understand their perspective.

8. Neglect your own life and interests

It is important to maintain your own life and interests during the talking stage. It can be easy to get caught up in the excitement of a new connection and want to spend all your time with your potential partner, but neglecting your own needs and passions can lead to an unhealthy dependence on them.

Furthermore, it is important to stay true to yourself and not change who you are to fit the expectations of your potential partner. Trying to be someone you’re not can lead to feelings of inauthenticity and ultimately damage the relationship.

9. Unnecessary Investments

It is not advisable to invest in the career, business, or education of someone you are just in the talking stage with.

While it may be tempting to support your potential partner’s career or educational goals, it is important to remember that you are not yet in a committed relationship. Investing in someone else’s future can be risky, especially if the relationship doesn’t work out.

10. Avoid addressing red flags

It is important to pay attention to any red flags that may arise early on in the relationship. Ignoring red flags during the talking stage can lead to bigger problems down the line, especially if you end up in a committed relationship with that person. Red flags can be anything from concerning behaviors to differences in values or goals.

It is important to address any concerns or red flags early on and have open and honest communication about them. If you notice a pattern of behavior that concerns you, such as inconsistent communication or a lack of effort in making plans, it’s important to address it early on.

Dating in this age and time can be challenging. The talking stage itself is an exciting but also a delicate phase of a new relationship. However, If you avoid these common mistakes, you can build a foundation of trust, mutual respect, and understanding with your potential partner, and go on to have a beautiful relationship. Just remember to take things slowly, be honest, consistent, and communicate openly.